A Conversation with a Joy House Counselor
Domestic violence often happens behind closed doors, and it rarely looks the way people expect.
Every October, communities across the country observe Domestic Violence Awareness Month. We remember those whose lives were lost to abuse, honor the courage of those who survived, and break the silence so no one has to face it alone.
Joy House is our home for mothers and children healing from domestic violence and addiction that is re-launching early 2027. We interviewed with one of our Joy House counselors to talk about who’s affected, what survivors carry, and how faith plays a role in their healing.
What’s one misconception about domestic violence you wish more people understood?
“One of the most common misconceptions I hear, from people in the community and honestly from many of the women at Joy House, is that children who did not directly witness the violence aren’t as affected as the children who were in the room.
Whether they saw it, heard it, or felt it, these children live in a chronic state of stress, often with parents who are unable or unavailable to help calm what they’re experiencing inside.”
That’s why children at Joy House receive their own care, including play therapy. Read more about play therapy and domestic violence.
Domestic violence takes many forms beyond physical abuse. How does it affect a survivor’s sense of safety and trust, and how does Joy House support her healing?
“Living in a chronically stressful or abusive environment, where a woman has to be constantly on high alert for any sign of danger, physical or emotional, actually changes the brain. Even once the victim is out of the situation, it takes a long time to re-learn, or learn for the very first time, how to be in the world and in relationships without constantly scanning for danger.
The women who come to Joy House often still struggle with shame, self-doubt, and trust. Joy House gives them time and space to heal and to develop what we call ‘felt safety’: knowing in their mind, and sensing in their body and heart, that they are safe, seen, and loved.”
Why is it often so hard for someone to leave an abusive situation, even when she wants to? And what does the first step towards safety look like?
“Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior in which the abuser exerts power and control over the victim. Over time, those behaviors erode her autonomy, her access to money and health care, and even her relationships with trusted family and friends.
It leaves her completely isolated, which is right where the abuser wants her.
The key is to find support! Leaving an abusive relationship is actually the most dangerous period for a survivor. It absolutely requires support from trusted friends, family, or colleagues to formulate a plan and carry it out safely.”
What makes Joy House unique?
“We offer wraparound services. We’re not just about providing shelter!
The women and children at Joy House have constant support from live-in staff, who help them develop a new, safer sense of community and work closely with them on their goals. We’ve created a new beginning phase of the program that offers more support and more services. Our case manager helps them find resources and build the skills they need for self-sufficiency. Our counselors provide individual and group counseling, giving them the education, tools, and space to heal and make lasting changes.
And all of this happens in one building! We really become like family to the women and children who live there.”
How does faith show up in the day-to-day work of counseling survivors?
“Our faith drives everything we do at Joy House. It guides how we approach every encounter with the women and children who live there, and I believe it’s what draws them in.
For those without a faith background, or with a faith background other than Christianity, they experience love, truth, and grace in a way they never have before. For many with their own faith, it helps restore their sense of self-worth. They learn that their value is not defined by their past, and they begin to see themselves through the eyes of their Creator.”
Help Us Open the Doors
“Your support makes it possible for these wraparound services to exist! And by extension, it helps the women and children feel seen, heard, and cared about.”
Families, churches, and friends have already given 80% of what it takes to reopen and sustain the first two years of Joy House. Just $120,000 remains, and this Domestic Violence Awareness Month, you can help close the gap by October 31.
- $2,500 furnishes one of Joy House’s eight apartments, turning empty rooms into a home where a mother and her children can finally exhale.
- $100 a month for two years stands with the families who come next, so Joy House never has to pause again.
- A gift of any size brings us closer to the finish line.
Give to Joy House today » 
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If You or Someone You Know Needs Help
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is free, confidential, and available 24/7: call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org. Advocates can help you think through a safety plan, especially before leaving.
